Im tired of caring

I hate caring about what people think.
My whole life and through out school all the things that I was and wanted to be wasn't "cool".
For example:
Being smart isn't cool. People make fun of you for being smart. And every one would joke about how they didn't study and how they dont care. It is backwards.
Being skinny and fit isn't cool. My whole life I was really skinny and wanted to be fit and people would say I was anorexic or bulimic and be rude to me when I wanted to be fit. And girls with curves and "meat" are more attractive. And being skinny like a skeleton is disgusting.
I cared so much about what people thought I changed myself.  I stopped trying in school because I was tired of being made fun of. I tried and tried to gain weight until I succeeded because I was tired of being called anorexic. I hated what I had become. I wasn't me anymore.
I struggle with this all of the time. Being scared to say what I think because I think someone won't like it. I dont want to work out and be healthy because I'm scared of what people will say. I'm tired of it.
Im trying now to not care or even think about what people might say or think. It only matters what I think and want. If it makes me happy I will do it. I want to speak my mind and do what I love.
I'm tired of being scared.
I'm done changing myself.
I just want to be me.
Let me know if you struggle with this as well and what helps you get through it. Maybe we can try together to be ourselves and not change for anyone else.
jclove
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